Crappy Face…

Yesterday was another fun filled bug day. After a bit of computer time we headed off to Tommy’s for some coffee, tea and pomme frittes. Sofia was so content that, as we sat at the counter, she never got out her drawing supplies… just sat and watched the other people in the room. I know today is some kind of holiday but pshaw… we took care of that rigmarole on Friday because Mom’s at work today. Not sure why I’m surprised but at the preschool they had a little holiday party and the bug came home with a bag of candy… I guess every holiday is now a reason to tank up on sweets. Not only that, the little cards they give each other are merely un-disguised advertisements for toys and of course the girls give ones with princesses and the boys with fast cars lest anyone get mixed signals on the appropriate gender rolls… clearly I’m not ready for kindergarten and what follows. This reminds me of a little story… consider it another version of pissing in the wind. We have received a steady flow of hand-me-downs over the years because the bug has a cousin that’s just old enough to be through with her clothes as Sofia needs them. Early on when Sofia could barely talk, she received a pajama top with 3 disney princesses on it… I have an extreme aversion to this disney crap. Before I noticed it (and could throw it away), the bug found it and of course it was her favorite garment for months. When she found it she asked me what the girls’ names were, pointing to one and then the next. Being quick on my feet I replied to the first question… crappy face, then the second princess… crappy face, and then third… crappy face. She said, they’re all named crappy face and I said yes but the pictures of them are not quite right. I had her take the garment off and I drew big handlebar moustaches in permanent marker on the 3 crappy faces. Being an inexperienced father, I had no idea how well this would work. To her they were crappy face and any other disney princess (they’re all drawn the same) she automatically referred to as crappy face. I actually overheard her arguing with cousins later insisting that their names were crappy face. One day, Mom, bug and I went down to the Vietnam Kitchen and Sofia sat in her highchair. We order her a side of rice and some tofu and when they brought it, the little rice bowl was served in the center of a plastic plate. Sometimes the plate would have Winnie the Pooh, sometimes Goofy but on this particular occasion it was… crappy face. Sofia immediately slid the bowl of rice to the side and stood up in the high chair yelling loudly… crappy face, crappy face is everywhere! Once we met a little girl, her mom and grandmother at the park playground and the girl had crappy face shoes which Sofia kept pointing out and the mom and grandmother kept looking at me like I was an evil person because I didn’t correct her and even though I understand how strange it may have seemed, the grandmother spoke Portuguese and no english and I just didn’t think I could convey the whole story with pop culture references to her satisfaction, not to mention that even if they understood perfectly, they probably still would have thought I was crazy. Over the last couple years, obviously, Sofia has come to know that this was something that dad did and I believe it informs her on some level to my sense of humor. So Friday she’s going through her bag of plunder and taking out the cards one at a time and asking me what they say. She shows me the one with a blonde-haired princess in a long evening gown and I say, it says happy valentine’s day, I hope I don’t crap in my dress. Of course, she wanted me to reread this over and over changing what it said each time. Such is our little fun. Anyway, after Tommy’s we got some bok choy for supper and went home to unload the kiln…

Only two small disappointments in the load, one of which was a low profile bowl that cracked through halfway around the foot and I gave that one to Sofia to play with. She was very excited to unload her tiles and sand the bottoms. Here’s one of the beer glasses, I think the size of this one will be perfect after the glaze firing…

After we unloaded we came upstairs and I tried to get a bit of resist work done (which I never even attempt on dad and Sofia days) and she was content for about 40 minutes. I heard her singing in the other room. She had taken the bowl I gave her and was drawing on it with magic markers then she got some of her tiles that were already fired and drew on them. She took them one by one into the closet and I asked her what she was doing and she said… I’m loading the kiln. After it was loaded, she counted to about 35 and declared, it’s done. The she disappeared for another while and finally came to me and said… would you like to buy something in my gallery? I said yes and followed her into the bathroom where she had put about 15 tiles and the bowl, all drawn on with markers, and a drawing on the bathroom sink counter and pretended she was a gallery owner. I eventually purchased all the pieces with the money she gave me. Here’s the gallery owner with her glaze pencil…

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12 Responses to “Crappy Face…”

  1. gary rith Says:

    OH! :)

  2. soubriquet Says:

    This is perfection!
    Early built-in anti-disneyism, I mean, there’s no guarantee that in later years she won’t provoke a nervous breakdown in a princess, but top marks for inbuilt scepticism.

    I wonder at what age she’ll get wise to your creative translations?

    The beer glass looks excellent, and I love the way your gallery proprietress works. You’re a perfect customer, I’ve yet to meet one who says “I’ll take it all!”

  3. elizabeth burtt Says:

    Take heart, though she may eventually go through moments of disney princess syndrome,brought on by public school, the early years of anti Disneyism will win out in the end. The world needs more kids like Sofia, non Disney damaged budding artist-entrepreneurs. She’s awesome!

  4. naomi Says:

    When my godson was little, his parents attempted to keep toy guns out of his arsenal of toys, but gave up when they say him outside holding another child’s Barbie, one leg gripped in his fist, the other leg at 90 degrees pointing at his playmate, shouting, “Bang-bang!” He’s now a massage therapist, vegetarian, raising two children. I’m looking forward to seeing those beer glasses finished, that one is so lovely now.

  5. nancy pene Says:

    ..god this had me laughing so hard Jim, from now on… it’s “crappy face” forever…hug the bug!
    thanks..
    I so needed that laugh!

  6. Michael Says:

    I like that, in the video, Sofia is drawing stripes, just like the stripes in her shirt!

    Even though Evelyn (my 8 yr old) has seen all the disney stuff she’s onto more interesting stuff, like the Far Side, which reads and laughs over and over! I too have an aversion to all the blue eyed and blonde haired royalty.

  7. ang Says:

    priceless!!

  8. Amy H Says:

    it is encouraging to hear that there are parents who don’t get all caught up in the disney stuff. Sofia is way better off; great stories!

  9. linda starr Says:

    quite the artist and gallery owner, happy valentines to you all.

  10. Misty Says:

    Holy Mackerel! I need that fish bowl! Crappy face and her fear of ruining her dress remind me of the time in college when a nice boy wth early-stage teeth rot asked me to a TKE homecoming or something dance. I said yes then asked my freshmen friends to hook me up with a dress. I was enthusiastically encouraged to wear one friend’s prom dress, reminiscent of Scarlet O’Hara. I looked completely inappropriate to say the least. On the way home I had to make a dash for the dorm, date in tow, because I had developed some kind of bug, i.e. the bad kind. College years are the best!

  11. Dawn Says:

    that was so funny………….I was crying. When Hunt was little, on his little wooden truck with non-gender people, (kind of like pegs) I used to draw red lips on some of them and put them in the driver’s seat. He never thought anything of it – but I always laughed at the neighbor boy. He never let her drive.

  12. Crapturnal Princesses… « Sofia’s Dad’s Pots Says:

    [...] a year ago I did this post which detailed my attempts from when Sofia was very young to counter the tide of d1sney [...]

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