Ass Pain, Virtually Gone…

This is not to say that the pain in my ass doggie, Sunglasses, is gone but more on that in a bit. After deluding myself that my feet would heal (it’s been since Feb. 1) in time and that I would be able to resume some sort of physical exercise, I have accepted the chronic nature of the injury and resigned myself to not being able to afford the treatments necessary. This is mostly because my catastrophic insurance policy has a deductible so high that I will need to suffer a heart attack or aneurism to take advantage of the coverage but let’s not dwell on that… there’s plenty of people in the same boat and I’ve read quite a bit just on the potters’ blogs about this very issue. Anyway, common sense says that about the only physical exercise that doesn’t put any weight on your heels is riding a bike. I have a road bike from years ago but it has those fancy pedals that require fancy shoes that clip into the pedals and those shoes I had stored in the back of a closet in my old tiny studio. Last year, when I moved everything to the dim dank basement to extend my studio space, I put the shoes down there and I guess some little mice made there home in my fancy shoes. My good friend Vern must have had a combination of pity about my condition and frustration at hearing me complain so he loaned me indefinitely this bike…

bicycle

As you can see the seat on this bike is one of those fancy European bicycle seats that’s shaped like a tropical bird’s beak. If you sit on it and weigh more than 78 pounds you will more likely associate it with the end of a flagpole. The other day Vern asked me if I had taken the bike out and how I liked it and I mentioned that my ass hurt more than anything else. Being the veteran cyclist, he informed me that the pain would subside if I stuck with it a week or so and voila, today the ass pain was virtually nonexistent. I love it when things work out. Now on to the pain in the ass that is here to stay…

sunglasses

Now I know that puppies poop on the floor (usually white or formerly white carpeting) and chew on shoes and furniture but sometimes I can’t come to terms with the demon dog’s insatiable hunger for wood. Here’s the bottom part of the door at the landing of our stairs… the missing pieces are all but little splinters (dust in the wind). I realize that the door is long overdue to be replaced and thought maybe the dog was commenting on my “handyman” initiative.

door

So we’re lying in bed the other night about 12:30 and we hear this noise in the room with us. It sounds like someone grinding their teeth, only magnified many times over. I caper over the edge of the bed to see what Sunglasses is chewing on to make such a weird sound and I don’t see anything. After pushing her aside, we realize that she’s chewing on the floor and all I could think was… how did she get a grip on the floor. She had her face just smashed against the floor. So as I said before… ass pain, virtually gone… pain in the ass, here to stay. Here’s a shot of the painted wooden floor.

floor

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12 Responses to “Ass Pain, Virtually Gone…”

  1. Jeff Campana Says:

    I’ve been through the saddle-sore thing before. I find it a bit unsettling that it can go away… that’s crazy that your dog can chew the floor, I wonder if you could get that on an episode of americas funniest videos or something. Is that show still on?

  2. gary Says:

    Jim, I cannot believe that this sweet little doggy is capable of this….
    I have a bike I love with a softish seat but spring riding season always wakes me up and gives me the same pains….

  3. Charles the Potter Says:

    That’s quite a puppy..better get some rawhide chews..try to find the compressed rawhide, it lasts a little longer and seems to pull offf in smaller less likely to choke pieces. The only place we’ve been able to find them is at Target.

    I use regular chiropractic to keep me functional. I pay $20 a visit which I think is a steal, I go every 2-3 weeks and more when I have an accidental injury and it has kept my carpal tunnel and various shoulder/ pinched nerve problems at bay. I started this about 3 years ago and wish I had started 20 years ago..I have some supplemental insurance through Combined Insurance that will pay $60 per visit 4 times a year so it helps alleviate the cost.

  4. HeidiMCF Says:

    Holy cow that’s hilarious! I can’t believe your dog ate the FLOOR! As for the ass pain it does go away, I have some padded shorts that help a lot. Also you may want to invest in a seat with a hole in it. It helps if your a man. 🙂

  5. Meredith Says:

    you have convienced me that this dog is going to live up to her name of sun-gl-asses….
    Chewing on the floor!
    On the floor!
    okay- who knows what that is about.
    I am happy your …. ass is feeling better!

  6. Eugene Hon Says:

    Jim maybe you can channel his frustration into therapy, give him a branch to chew on, it might just lead to an amazing piece of wooden sculpture, art therapy. Does he bark allot, if not, that may explain his desire to be seen and not heard. A blessing in disguise – I am a cat person.

  7. Barbara Edwards Says:

    Sunglasses is amazing. Well, there’s always the good ol’ duct tape around the muzzle trick. OK,OK, maybe just a muzzle, then. Nice floor color by the way.

  8. Gordo Says:

    Our first dog had a penchant for lamp cords and potted plants. Thankfully, the lamp that she ate the cord from (twice!) was plugged into a switched outlet. LOL

  9. elfriede Says:

    I know this sounds simple….but….have you tried getting a really good honest to god bone for that dog? And I mean a real organic bone from the butcher….just make sure you cook it a bit first….no raw bones. I wish I could say that all of this destruction surprises me….

    • jim Says:

      hi elf… yes we have gotten two so far and the chewing thing is calming down a bit, a long way to go though i think

  10. elfriede Says:

    yeah….I figured. I bought something to keep our bunny from chewing up electrical chords…it’s a bitter apple spray. Of course you’d have to spray EVERYTHING!

  11. The Face Of Death/I (Don’t) Like (B)ike… « Sofia’s Dad’s Pots Says:

    […] may remember a post I did last year about borrowing my friend Vern’s bike. Well when my sister came to visit with […]

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