Concrete Expressionism…

I was just cold yesterday, I didn’t mean to suggest that our coldness was comparable to other regions’ coldness and since I enjoy some of the older idioms that I thought were funny when I was younger, I may have wasted it’s use on a day that wasn’t nearly as cold as it’s going to get (the title of yesterday’s post). Colder than a well-diggers ass was one of my dad’s favorites and someone suggested the infamous “colder than a witches teat” but my favorite was one from my college friend, Mattie, who always said, “it’s colder than a brass toilet seat on the shady side of an iceberg.” I figured it might have been native to that state that many wish was successful in it’s attempt to secede from the Union but maybe that’s because he was always lampooning said Texans and usurping their accent. When I was young my dad reserved the term “horse’s ass” for the people who really behaved poorly and as a teen I always felt that it lacked teeth. No hard “k” sounds in there and I went through a couple of decades perfecting what I thought was a more vitriolic and effective string of expletives to hurl at the insanity of the world. As is apropos of the cyclical nature of life, I have now come to believe that “horse’s ass” is a much better phrase especially if one visualizes the ass of a horse and considers that the power of most vulgar expletives has been sapped by their expropriated use in popular movies, music lyrics and fiction. Last week at the doctor’s office, I overheard a man while waiting to check out say… “like a hair in a biscuit”. I learnt this in western Kentucky in college and since I moved to Louisville have never heard another person use it even though I say it frequently. I was floored and wanted to strike up a conversation with him about it but I was a bit preoccupied with whether or not I had a blood clot. Anyway, I’m always open for new ones although I’m certainly not interested enough to comb through google looking for them. Recently, I was made aware of an older phrase that I liked and had never heard before… “never trust a man whose ass is wider than his shoulders.” You can’t swing a dead cat without hitting a good reason to use that expression. Here’s a bowl that I posted yesterday (first click to Etsy, others enlarge)…

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10 Responses to “Concrete Expressionism…”

  1. Jerry Says:

    One of my more favorite pots of yours, Jim. “Like a hair in a biscuit” is one I have never heard, but man does it pack a punch.

  2. gary Says:

    How about this one, which is so totally true at this second ‘colder than Gary’s hands after finishing some pots in a 55 degree studio’. Yesterday I was thinking about these expressions, and like the witches direction: colder than a witches: ass, heart, nose….I s’pose heart works best there….

  3. cindy shake Says:

    The bowl is beautiful -I especially like the foot! Is that an embellishment on the bottom or your chop/mark? Speaking of feet… When something was especially difficult, my Dad also used to say “it was harder than trying to put socks on a Rooster!”

  4. Dawn Says:

    one of my mom’s was, “Use your head and save your hair”

    • jim Says:

      use your head and save your hair… that’s a cool one, my grandpa used to say after belching… excuse the pig, the hog’s away. i still use that one a lot.

  5. John Dorsey Says:

    Jim – really enjoying your blog – must be because we enjoy the same sense of humor, although I don’t get the cold references much, living in New England and all. Still, you seem to nail the giggle. And the pots! Enjoying them too – the first one will arrive soon from AKAR.
    Don’t have any good verbal references from my dad, but I was part of a championship stickball squad we called “Chuck’s Grandmother’s Team”.

  6. Matt Says:

    “When there’s a dog’s tooth in a bowl of chili, somethin’s wrong!”

    I like that socks on a rooster thing too. Reminds me of the line from City Slickers “that’s about as helpful as henshit on a pump handle.” The late Ann Richards, former governor of Texas, wrote a compilation of Texas dialect coloquialisms entitled “that dog’l hunt.” Good bathroom book.

  7. Humpfph… « Sofia’s Dad’s Pots Says:

    […] southern one) is “like a hair in a biscuit”, which I’ve mentioned in previous posts. When I was a freshman in college I used to say… “eh, bushida in a backhouza”, […]

  8. Duane Mead Says:

    Some of this stuff is to funny and blows my idea that the best wells were dug as the ground freezes so wells were hand dug and laid up in stages. I’m not much of a home decorator but you have pretty bowls and vases

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