Mr. Claws Is Coming…

Sounds ominous to me… how sharp are these claws anyway. I’ve been trying to convince Sofia that the reason behind Santa’s name is because he has remarkable claws and that it seems that it might be better to rename him Santa Fingernails or just plain Santa Fingers but she’s not buying it. I believe that 6 years old will be the year where I lose my dad mojo and that there’s gonna be a whole lotta things that I tell her that she’s not gonna buy. Regardless, the bug is definitely excited…

Twas the night before xmas and all through the house… not a creature was stirring, not even that mouse that committed hari kari in the previous post. They just don’t write them like that anymore. Or like these, we just finished these two and we’re on to “The Lost Princess Of Oz”…

No doubt the bug will be rapt during this next one because it’s about a princess… look, just shoot me now with the princess crap. Some long time readers may remember my ongoing efforts to thwart the princess crap with this post I did but, like I said, she’s stopped buying it. Of course, people surreptitiously giving her these d1sney books are not helping… in fact, I feel like I’m spitting in the wind. So a week or so ago, she announced that she was gonna copy a book… meaning that she was going to draw the picture on each page of the book that she was copying. I figured that she would draw a few pics and move on but she diligently made it through. When finished, we collated the pages and stapled the book together…





And apparently it’s not over yet. I’m extremely ambivalent about this because on the one hand, I truly do hate that princess bullshite where the helpless girl is rescued by the prince, knight, upright bass jazz combo member or whatever but I’m also impressed by the dogged determination she displayed toward, what seems to me, a long term goal for that age group. So onto more evidence of my failing, what? I don’t know… eyesight, general awareness, wherewithal, astuteness, etc. It was last Sunday and I wanted to get Sofia a pad of drawing paper to match the size of a pad she already had so we went over to h0bby l0bby and as you approach the shopping center where it’s located, there’s a stop sign. On the right are some other stores and to the immediate left is the store in question. There is not a car in the entire lot and I quickly deduced that they were not open. So I turned left but instead of staying on the frontage road, I pulled into the empty parking lot to swing around and make a loop to return from whence I came. As I enter the lot and start to loop, I started to look over at the door which was quite a ways off to see if maybe the hours posted on the door might inform me that they open late on that day. As I’m making this loop, all of a sudden a horrible, loud crash shocked the hell out of me. I was momentarily disoriented because we felt impact but there was nothing apparent that made the crashing sensation. I instinctively braked as soon as it happened, so I put the car in drive and got out only to see that I had, without any braking whatsoever, run over the handicapped parking sign. Aside from being pissed, I was incredulous that I could have driven right over something this obvious without even having a glimpse of it in my mind. Unfortunately, I didn’t have my camera with me and when I went back (like a devoted blogger will), the sign was gone and the 4 inch metal stub of the pole where the sign had snapped off had been laboriously removed leaving only this pathetic memento of my obliviousness…

The irony of this to me is that if I’m going to continue to drive in this manner, maybe the handicapped driver is me and I should get one of those little sticker thingies to hang from my rear view mirror. On to the damage… I lucked out here but this is how the vehicle starts its general decline until it looks like the previous vehicle. Or as my mom used to say when raising 5 kids and how Sofia’s mom has already started saying… “why can’t we have anything nice?” To that, I usually think to myself… I’m pretty nice. Obviously it’s not a time to get philosophical. So the pole left two vertical “lacerations” in the plastic bumper and shattered the light…

It’s not the headlight proper it’s the one below it that is where a foglight usually is but I think with these F0resters, it may be the bright lights. Regardless, I think I can repair it with little expense…

That’s all I got. Happy Holidays! and come on January 2nd!

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8 Responses to “Mr. Claws Is Coming…”

  1. meredith Says:

    Merry Christmas to all- I enjoyed the bedtime story last night- your adventures are a bright spot in my life.
    Your “princess” will be a princess no matter what.
    Girls are like that- embrace before she starts being the toads around.

  2. naomi Says:

    Check out Frank Stockton’s “The Queen’s Museum and Other Fanciful Tales.” I loved that as a child and still do. These are not the usual fairy tales, but have a funny practicability, and great drawings. Another good one – “The Fabulous Flight of Peter and Gus” by Robert Lawson. A boy falls from a tree and hits his pituitary gland and starts shrinking. It has Gus, of course (the seagull buddy), and espionage and adventures. First read it when I was 7 and stole it from a friend (I really am going to send it back to her in 2011), and reading it now it has things for adults and for children; somewhat subversive. I never had children so I’m slowly culling my children’s book collection, but once I was a little girl; a few of these other stories – forget those silly princesses. Happy new year to you, may it be the best ever.

  3. cindy shake Says:

    Thank goodness that stupid sign didn’t rip out anything in your under-carriage! I backed into an ice berm (as high as my tailgate!) didn’t see in my truck two days ago -the sound was horrible and I thought for sure I’d dented the metal but thankfully the hitch took most of the ice. Scared the cr@p out of me!! …so glad “you let” Santa come to see Sofia :o) Merry Christmas!

  4. ang Says:

    ahhh jim its not your fault if the sign jumps out in front of you when your not looking!!!! my fav is cimderella 😛 cute pic and in black there’s hope for the gothness yet …….hehehehhe hope you have a fabulous holiday season, cheers matey

  5. Tracey Says:

    Wesley did the princess thing for about a year and then she moved on to dinosaurs eating her barbie dolls. This year she got a tent and backpack for Christmas, there is hope, the princess thing is a short ride! I always thought the Disney writers were f’ d up, think about it, snow white cooked and cleaned and lived with seven little weirdos (I never even read that one to Wes and she has never seen the movie) Cinderella, Beauty and the Beast, Pocohontas, I could go on, none of them have a mom, what is up with that?! The Lion King is the only Disney I really liked, well maybe Pocohontas too, they at least have fierce women in the story. Sophia is going to be just fine!

  6. Patricia Griffin Says:

    Sophia is just fine, but I’m a little worried about your driving! 🙂

  7. soubriquet Says:

    Aint it grand that they make these all-wheel-drive cars, give them a tough-sounding name… and then say… “Hey. What’s the most vulnerable place we can put a light?” they walk all around the mock-up of the car… and “.
    “And hey! let’s make it look uber-tough, by sticking a plastic grille over the light, so it looks like a light on some sort of real worksite machine. Can we paint it Caterpillar Yellow?” This last idea is the only one the designers get turned down on. The grille blocks a good 40% of the emitted light… so they put a brighter bulb in…

    I have a Land-Rover Discovery… And a real land Rover…. On the real Land-Rover, the lights are recessed, deliberately, to protect them. They’re also dirt-cheap to replace.
    The Discovery? well, from the mark one onward there’s been a concerted effort to make the lights ever more complex assemblies, and unsurprisingly, ever more expensive. I dare not bump into anything.
    Oh. And on the MarkII version, which I have, i.e. the fifteen year-old model…. they decided to punch holes in the steel rear bumper… which I used on my markI for knocking down things i needed to remove, like, say, a few hundred yards of fenceposts… And they put lights in it!
    Thereby depriving me of a useful work tool. Until I bolt a baulk of hardwood over them….

  8. soubriquet Says:

    It lost a few sentences about sticking the lights in the first bit you bump…

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