All That Glitters…

Aaaah… January 2nd is getting closer and no longer a distant dream for I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I’m not looking forward to it as much this year as last because the bug is in school and that means that we have one whole week of her being home every day and no “special” occasions. Of all of this year’s swag, it seems the favorite item is the cape and mask and if you were thinking of any evil-doing in the near future, I suggest you think twice…

Apparently this superhero’s name is irrelevant because I haven’t heard any declarations that start with “I am…”. But as batman has his robin and green hornet has his cato, this superhero has her… well, it’s a grinch but his name is unimportant also…

The grinch, when he’s just a grinch and not a superhero sidekick, has begun an ongoing debate between the bug and I which centers around whether he has a butt. I say no and she says yes. Of course she wants him to so she can stick it in my face and say… look at his butt. But I’m standing my ground (albeit shaky) and maintaining that since his mouth is sewn shut that he’s like the scarecrow or the tinman and needs no sustenance and obviously no butt. I think I’m losing this battle. The “extravagant” gift this year was an electronic keyboard.

It’s probably evidence of dad’s deep desire for playing music to be a part of her life but how to engender that when I cannot play it myself is a mystery to me. We have subtly hinted about lessons and Sofia’s consistent position is that she already knows how to play and will willingly show me anytime I bring it up. She bangs around on the keyboard sans rhythm or melody and softly plays discordant sounds (maybe all that Coltrane and Charlie Parker when she was younger is backfiring). Anyway, the bug can not only already play, she’s giving lessons…

Now about glitter, I’d like to say… glitter be damned. Part of the xmas swag was one of those spinning paint thingies (that requires, of all things, a size C battery… really?, they still make things with size C, clearly I’m out of the battery loop) that spins like a ceramics throwing wheel and you drip paint while it spins and the centrifugal force makes the paint fly out from the center. So I was making barley soup yesterday and the bug was happily making spin paintings at the kitchen table. Well, included in the package with the paints were two vials of glitter. When I finally decided to check out the finished works I found that there was gold and silver glitter completely covering the spinner, the table top, the bug, the chair, and the floor. I thought, well I’ll clean the glitter up with a paper towel because if I used a regular kitchen towel, it would get into the washer and dryer and then onto the other clothes, etc. When it was time to clean up, I went after the glitter with a damp paper towel and it didn’t work very well and to make a long story short, the glitter cleanup efforts were less than desired. Of course this reminded me of the Chernobyl nuclear disaster and how the radioactive Pripyat River’s water slowly makes its way to the ocean and over a period of time (unknown to me), the radiation, although diluted, is present in all the water on earth. So as I was “cleaning” the glitter it got all over the bottom of my shoes and wouldn’t readily come off them either and then there was Sofia’s feet, clothes, hands and I’ve already seen trace glitter on the living room furniture and the dog. I’ve thrown both vials away but I’m afraid the little specks are gonna be part of our lives for some time to come. Glitter be damned! My only other kvetch is about the batteries. I rarely purchase anything with batteries except the car and the camera and they’re both rechargeable. So aside from one thing requiring a C battery and the other AAA’s (I just thought I would be able to use my rechargeable AA’s), the little plastic piece of shite that is the cover for the battery enclosure has a tiny phillip’s head screw that in addition to being so small you would need an eyeglass repair screwdriver to fit into it, the damn thing is made out of metal that’s about as hard as wet porcelain. One turn and the head is stripped. I had to break the little plastic door to get it open. I’m sure that these things are old hat to all you experienced parents but I’m re-swearing off battery-operated toys. And the glitter, don’t get me started… glitter be damned!

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11 Responses to “All That Glitters…”

  1. ken Says:

    James,
    I don’t know if you recall, but you gave Ellen one of those for Christmas some years back. I seem to recall the very same scenario playing out at my house. I’m still finding trace glitter.

    • jim Says:

      hey ken,
      i guess it’s too late to apologize… i vaguely remember getting them all things that would make the house alive with noise and messes. when you live in another house, it’s easier to give gifts that drive the parents crazy. so for me, i guess payback’s gonna be a bitch even if it’s me that generates it.

  2. cindy shake Says:

    LOVE the cape! I want one…. :o) I’m with you on the C battery thing(?) I admit I did double up on our purchase of AA’s though! Seems like EVERYTHING Gus got takes a few of those bad boys -we’ve tried the rechargeables and they go lame after a while :o(

  3. Tracey Says:

    We started out with a violin in the 3rd grade, a bigger violin in 6th grade then she was in the orchestra, very cool, then an electric guitar in the 8th grade, acoustic guitar 9th grade, another electric guitar, casio keyboard, like yours 10th grade, and then 11th grade an amazing electric piano. She taught herself to play all of them, looked up lessons on the internet, she did learn to read music in orchestra so that helped, but no other lessons, and she plays really well. She hooked up with a bunch of kids that take lessons, and they showed her plenty. We made friends with the local music store and got some very nice deals and discounts, and of course I did without all the fun things I would like to have, but worth it to go to the local bars and see your kid’s band playing!
    If Sophia has an ear and the desire to play, she can learn quickly. Bad news, I started taking piano lessons when I was your daughter’s age and I can read music but I am tone deaf, so the lessons did me no good and I did not enjoy them! She is sure to have fun with it anyway, we are giving Wesley’s old Casio to my mom for Christmas because she plays keyboards really well. I also have a long relationship with glitter and really don’t like it at all!!!! Merry Christmas 🙂

  4. ang Says:

    aha!! your glitter guard was down….

  5. meredith Says:

    what would christmas be with out glitter and superheros!
    I know who I will call when the evildoers come out!
    Music- it skipped both our kids, but grand dad thinks he is going to teach GRAND babe to play.

  6. Gay Judson Says:

    I bought pianos (2) when my boys were young hoping they would become the musicians I’m not. I even took lessons myself on the second go round (my oldest son is 20 years older than my youngest son–thus 2 pianos, one at a time) but it did not help–neither they nor I learned to play the piano beyond hunt and peck. But they are both great appreciators of music–my sister claims that is what lessons are for, to make one an appreciator of the art since you can’t learn talent!

  7. gary rith Says:

    oh Jim, good lord ya’lls crack me UP 🙂

  8. Kern-Kern Says:

    Yep, glitter’s a dirty dog.

  9. judi tavill Says:

    “damned build a bear place” You crack me up. Do you know when Maxine Clark started the company 12 years ago, I designed the first BEAR OUTFITS…. It’s a long way from clay… Happy New Year! Can’t wait to see the SIGGGG… I am cooking up my own stuff…

  10. judi tavill Says:

    oops… wrong place to post… see you at the other place…

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